Kindness is grace
It is good, it is just, and it is beautiful to be kind. Blessed are those who live kind lives, and in good company are those with whom they share this life.
It seems strange to write of the intrinsic good, and the good use of kindness, speaking as though others do not know this simple truth: that life is better for oneself, and for all, when the mind is intentionally furnished with empathy, compassion, mindfulness, and other facets of kindness.
To be sure, when I say kindness in the context of this imperative, I mean to say that it is imperative that we each take ownership of the duty concomitant with the knowledge of ourselves and the world.
Where the world is filled with persons like yourself, and it is filled, too, with animals like yourself, from this, as a person, and as an animal, you can reason from your own experiences and imagination to the emancipative truth that all living things deserve the same dignity and respect that you believe is appropriate for yourself.
The alternative is to live either contrary to the truth of the intrinsic value and dignity of others, or to live ignorant of it, and, in either case, this will mean suffering for you, and for those around you.
To be kind, to live a truly kind life is to live with the fundamental understanding that life is inherently beautiful, difficult, and meaningful, and so you needn't be too hard on yourself, nor on others living their own beautiful, difficult, meaningful lives. Indeed, we must view the other humans and animals with this same generous view which we believe we deserve, where the other is understood to be a real living being, possessing a complex and meaningful inner life.
You do not wish to be used, cheated, nor treated without respect, nor to be assaulted, chased into a cage, tormented, starved, crushed with a very big rock. In the clarity of knowing that you do not deserve any of that, it is imperative that you see that no one deserves this. Knowing that you deserve dignity is not a function of who you are, but simply that you are, that you live.
It’s cool to be kind --sexy, too
Not simply an intrinsic good that ought to be followed for its own sake, kindness also serves a utilitarian good that makes your life better. Living such kindness reflects well upon you in the eyes of others. Consequently, having been made more content with your presence in their lives, people out there in the world are liable to treat you with at least as much grace, prone to give you the benefit of the doubt, their trust, time, and other opportunities.
Better still, earnestly living with such kindness, contributing to the greater joy and good in the world, having the experiences of one who lives as such, and being close with other like-minded people, this will inevitably develop for you a lens of kindness through which you can view yourself, others, and the world.
Without that benevolent lens, however, the world as we interpret it will remain just that, a world perceived not through a lens of compassion. Thus may be formed a feedback loop, where the world is seen without compassion, where one is then made bitter, and so to invite and promote alienation, more bitterness, onto resentment, anger, jealousy, and ultimately, something of a personal hell that --but for the art that sometimes comes of this-- subtracts from the total potential of human joy and progress.
Indeed, if you can be so fortunate as to willfully frame the world as being filled with intrinsically beautiful beings living as truly and as earnestly as yourself, then, in time, you may find that you’ve made for yourself a beautiful disposition, and thus a beautiful life.
And if we could all live like that, if we could all work to live such lives together, then what, but peace (and joy, and prudent productivity), could ever come of our world?
Kindness, in this respect, isn’t a state one achieves, nor is it a mode of being in which one can effortlessly live. Rather, the kindness toward which all ought to live (individually, collectively so) is, not unlike life itself, an endless challenge; it is a daily practice to which one must always return with faith, charity, and courage, ever working to be mindful of oneself, and one’s own reaction to others.
Often, this must be done essentially in spite of our own irrational animal constitution (re: fight or flight, physiological and emotional drives and stresses), within the socially demanding goings-on of modern human life, and of our own fears, circumstances, and desires. Consequently, it is with effort and practice that we must aim to bridge the gap between the animals that we are, the people that we are, and the people with whom we want to share this world --and to, ourselves, become.
The takeaway --ever, always, we must think of the other
Just as the lucid dreamer periodically asks herself if she is dreaming, doing so in the hopes of one day asking herself within a dream, and then realizing her incredible power, we must make it a real habit to ask ourselves if we are being kind, if we can be kinder, if we have put aside enough of our own narrative(s) and emotions to truly consider and respect the other, not as a means of advancing our happiness, but to see them as an end in and of themselves, worthy of their own joy and dignity, worthy of forgiveness, worthy of love.
Every interaction that you have with another life is an opportunity to touch upon this kindness within yourself, to reinforce this worldview that betters this place, and brings forth love and reverence for all.
Look at this beautiful world, look at your being within it, with a mind and body able to engage with it, and to enjoy it as it meant to be enjoyed, in good faith, with patience, in solidarity with our existential kin, and with the rest of the living cosmos, everyone, everything.
Whether you’re still on hold with an inattentive (re: seemingly unhelpful) call center worker, or there’s a police officer writing you a ticket; whether a car has just cut you off, or your co-worker or friend or family member has just said something to you, and said it in such a way as to make you feel overcome with emotion, all of these are instances where --if we endeavor to stay mindful of our imperative to be the kindness in this world, to remember that the other is alive and imperfect just as we are-- we can sometimes manage to choose to aim to be rational and compassionate, and to be mindful of how we want to react, and mindful of the choice which can be made to keep ourselves (the only part of any situation which we stand a chance of controlling) thinking of others as real people, and us all as complex animals prone to emotion and irrationality, framing this within an earnest desire for amicable resolution, onto peace, enduring.
If we can practice this, if we can work to be mindful of ourselves, then it may come to pass that when we most need to know the answer to these questions of kindness, that we might be empowered to rise above ourselves, and to act in accordance with what we understand to be good and right, rather than what we might do if we acted without due consideration, thoughtlessly yielding to the autonomic whims of the sympathetic nervous system laid bare to the world.
Indeed, it is imperative that we be kind to one another, that we work to make this so. When it is easy, and especially when it is not, we must endeavor to err on the side of empathy and patience, to practice this. We must do so, to give other humans, and to all forms of life, the dignity appropriate to our conscious, living existence, not because we believe we will be rewarded in the next life, but because we are living this life, right now, and so is everyone else.
- James McMurtrie
What wonders we can accomplish when we work together.